A Smile That Changed Everything

Fazal Ul Haq Wani ✉

It was a fleeting moment, a smile lasting only a millisecond, but it was enough to capture my heart. After the short encounter, a liking developed and quickly turned into love.

Photo by Firmbee.com on Unsplash

It was a cold winter’s day when I was in the 12th grade. All of us were waiting for the arrival of our physics teacher. I went outside the classroom to see how he was doing to kill time. It was then that I noticed her. I had never noticed this girl before. Upon inquiring, I discovered that she was enrolled in the eleventh grade. I couldn’t help but follow her after that, pulled by some strange magnetic attraction.

Shyness and Silent Yearning

Throughout the rest of my coaching days, I desperately wanted to tell her how I felt. But each time I attempted to gather the bravery; I was unable to even carry on a basic conversation. I remained silent out of shyness and fear of rejection. During that period, I would see her in the corridors and even from a distance during breaks, but the words would never leave my mouth. I felt a mixture of excitement and nervousness at each encounter as I knew I wouldn’t be able to connect with her. I became extremely aware of the passing of time as the deadline for finishing the coaching drew near. I was haunted with regret for not speaking up, but I was unable to get over my worries. I eventually completed my coaching there and left the country to pursue my education, regretting never having had a conversation with her.

A Decade Later

After ten years, I finally came across her on Instagram one day. I had grown up and become a little more confident by then. I used all of my strength to open up about my long-standing emotions in an Instagram conversation. We were miles distant, but I leaned back, nervous of her response. I couldn’t decide if my anxiety was a result of my strict mental image of her or the potential for rejection. She said that it was not possible and that she might put me on a block for my own protection. She did, too. Although it was a severe blow, life continued.

After a year or two, we got back in touch on Instagram. She was kinder this time, admitting that she wouldn’t have said anything harsh in the past. Her words offered me a ray of glee, but it never manifested and was only destined to be a dream.

The Power of Prayer

Some conversations, on the other hand, are best left for the prayer mat. The reason for this is that Allah alone offers solace when mankind does not. Sometimes in life, the comfort we need from human interactions is not provided by them. Although friends and family may offer support and guidance, the underlying feelings and unanswered questions frequently remain. Praying to Allah at these times of reflection and solitude serves as a soul’s haven.

You can open up to someone in prayer and share your feelings without worrying about being understood or judged. It is an opportunity for you to communicate your deepest wishes, regrets, and anxieties to the Divine. Knowing that a higher force is aware of your worries and has heard them, this surrender offers a deep sense of relief and serenity. It provides a certain kind of strength and comfort that surpasses human limitations.

A Wish for Her Happiness

I always wish her well, despite everything. I hope she finds happiness and is safe wherever she goes. Even though we didn’t talk for years, my affection for her has always been sincere. It taught me about the sorrow of unsaid words and the strength of silent admiration, even though it was never returned. Certain stories are never told, yet the emotions they evoke are genuine and enduring. Ultimately, the quiet talks with Allah offer a haven where the heart finds solace and unsaid things find a voice. We understand the depth of our feelings and the comfort that faith may provide during these times.

Written originally for the blog www.theviralpost.online by Dr Fazal Ul Haq Wani & can be reached at wanifazal@gmail.com

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